PASTOR, WHO SHOULD I MARRY?

Marriage is more serious than most people realize. It’s one relationship that is easy to enter, but almost impossible to exit. You can change your address, you can change you dress, but to change your spouse could be suicidal. It’s a union that takes all of you. So who do you marry?

A relationship is the foundation for everything, and many people date without relationship. You must marry based on agreements. You may disagree sometimes, but you have to agree on fundamentals. Agreement is a product of individuality. There are things that must have happened to the person you intend to marry such as: developing an intimate and personal relationship with God, discovering themselves as an individual, and learning to love and accept who they are.These things determine the health of any relationship. True self-esteem does not come from achievements, it comes from personal discovery. We don’t find our worth in other people’s opinion, but in the processes we have been through and discoveries we have made.

Let me progress like this, you must marry on purpose—not for pleasure or passion. You must marry for values and not for vain things; priorities change while purpose remains forever. You must examine your values critically before you decide to marry. Couples planning to marry must ensure they share common values; it will prevent unnecessary conflicts.

Marry someone who has decided to do something with their lives and not those who are living by chance. Marry realist: those who back their words and faith with action, yet build their castles in the air. Marry a committed friend: someone who identifies your strengths and weaknesses and helps you to manage them well; someone who challenges your potential and helps you deploys and maximize them.

You must marry a secure person or someone that you can help gets secured during courtship. Marry someone who is original and not a clone or masquerade, someone who is secure with his or her unique characteristics. Doing this will erase stupid competition or crisis within the relationship. It is a bad for a spouses to be compete or be intimidated by the other. This can lead to unimaginable evils.
Don’t marry for beauty; marry for balance, intelligence, character, vision and passion, poise and purpose. Marry for wisdom, not wealth. Wisdom is better than money; its benefits will remain forever and are not short-lasting. It is better to marry an average, humble, wise person than a rich and proud fool. Wisdom builds, but pride destroys what has already been built. Marry someone who nourishes. A man and woman in a relationship should nourish one another.

A man brings protection and attention while a woman brings affection and compassion. Your spouse is there to help you grow. A good test for your relationship is to ask yourself, “Has this person helped me become a better person?”
Both parties (man and woman) must be willing to provide for each other; however, it can be in different ways and beyond the physical. Men are to be strong to support the lady they are with. And as a man has his responsibilities, women ought to be tender.